today is friday. last night felt like it would never end. some of the times i didnt want it to. i learned a lot. i will keep these secrets until the day i die. i was awake all night. dont you ever forget it.

sometimes, i get so enveloped in how im living, that i stop living. i forget to call. i forget to write back. when my phone breaks, it doesnt even phase me ( my phone broke today, so i cant see anything on the screen. ) im a robot at work, make drinks, clean counters, restock, make drinks, smile, make drinks, clean, breaks, timers, drinks, smile. i dont even think about what im doing. its incredible that i can function when my heart and mind are mostly asleep. some of you may know how i feel. do you understand it. even now as i type im not even thinking about anything. im just typing. breath in breath out. glance, blink, breathe.

close my eyes, breathe in. slowly. open my eyes. breathe out slowly. i feel like i've been living for a hundred years. im a ghost. just haunting those around me. i can barely do that anymore. none of my friends now where i've been. i dont have family. i could almost dissapear. i almost have. i have. invisible. half way audible. not that im speaking anyways, but if i was you wouldnt hear me anyways. it isnt your fault. im just letting myself die. slowly but surely.

goodnight.