good morning world. its midnight and nine minutes. i am sitting in my favorite, worn in, plaid arm chair. im at my sisters house. my one and only home. my sister and brother are in the kitchen talking about how to make my room better, but im not listening so i dont know exactly what the plan is. im getting computer time because my sister is making my brother do housework. i dont hate it. my knees and back are very tired. but its almost like a good feeling. like if you work out really hard, or swim all day. and you sit down to eat a sandwhich or something and you realize how stretched and tired you are. you know that feeling? i do. there is only one light on it the entire house and its right above my head. im in my pj's already and im ready for reading and then sleeping.i've got a lot of my mind, but no words to articulate them. today i saw tyler. he's a comforting and familiar face. like home to me. have i mention the incredible integrity of the boys that i call close friends. people like connor, greg, johnny. and new friends like sam, jesse, and steven. or old-soul friends like michael and sam. i have this dream inside of my many locked chambers that i could protect them from all the girls that dont deserve them. or that i could preserve our perfect friendship in the solid and unwavering state they all once stood in.
i need female fellowship. i really do. but the girls that share my heart stories, and day dreams seem to far away. only a few rest here in my town. and they seem distant. i dont know how to get close to them, and i especially dont know how to stay close to them. i've never been good at this. add that to the list of things to beg for. haha. its astonishing how vile and futile i am without God. i dont know a single thing, and i scramble at the slightest hint of unorganization and loss of control. silly girl.
new subject. i know this couple. and they are absolutely the most insane thing in the world to me right now. let me try to explain. when i see pictures of them, or see them together, or hear them talk abotu each other, or read something about them it feels like : a slightly warm shower after a way too hot day, seeing a best friend everyday for two weeks straight all day and all night in your favorite place in the world, sweet tea: unlimited, a really good (entire roll) of pictures freshly developed and warm in your hands, a DEEP breath, a BELTING john mayer song, windowns down, good sun tan, uncontrollable joy... ect ect.. get it? its just so good to me. and this girl ( one of the two haha ) is just incredible to me. man... i dont even know how to describe how i feel. she is so beautiful and enjoyable and joyful. and understandable. which is way too uncommon in girls these days. most of them are so confused. its sad.
im sad about it actually.
anyways. they just make me feel so happy. AAAH.
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
baabyeee i love you and i am leaving u stuff on myspace and here but it is deserved.... you seem really down sometimes and other times u seem peppy, and i cant really tell which is which when or if theyre both kinda of a constant battling in you heart and mind. just know that i love you and that i want to talk to u about all of this tomorrow... i Heart u tons! i know u want to have one on one time so maybe we can have that 4 a while and then the othr boiz can join us latr in the night, i dont know, we can make a plan, its up to u. i love u bunchezzz and dont 4get that ur beeeeeeautiful. :D
hey, jessica vickery,
i like you.:)
honestly, i read this entry just because i saw this line: "i am sitting in my favorite, worn in, plaid arm chair."
the significance of this is that i am doing that very same thing! i never would have guessed that two people within such a close proximity in the wide world would stake out their turf in terribly plaid armchairs.
i like this chair so much.
but i definitely like you more.
anyway. so, yeah. you had me at "plaid arm chair."
but, i liked the rest of it, too.
and, i have to stop typing momentarily because i am leaving for those northern carolina mountains,
but i wanted to comment anyway.
a] i love the stretchy, tired, sit-down-to-a-sandwich feeling.
b] good guyfriends are hard to come by. but i have them, too.
c] cling to the friends of your heart. it is imperative, i think.
d] i really like your words about the unknown couple. it makes them sound like heroes of the love frontier. hahah. secretly, i think every couple wants someone to talk about them that way. so, secretly, i hope you're writing about me and sam. but the truth is, it doesn't matter who it is, if freedom and fun can exist like that in any relationship, the world is more beautiful because of it.
hooray.
comment = ending soon.
see you around, wonderful.:)
Post a Comment